Christmas questionnaire!

Real tree or fake tree?Fake one, I bought it last year. So much easier then going out and buying one every year.What is your least favorite thing about the holidays? The way it's been commercialized (sp?). It's the season of hope, love, thanks, you know, all those good things. But it seems to have been replaced with tacky Santa stuff and expensive gifts.
What is the one thing that you would like to see under the tree this year? Money! hahaha. I just want to have some baby stuff, so I'll be ready and not have to stress about getting all the stuff I need before the lil one is bornWhat is your favorite thing to build in the snow? You know, the normal snowmen, and angels and such. Oooh, and forts too!What is your favorite holiday drink? I'venever drank alcohol during Christmas, and I won't be this year either! So I'm gonna stick with hot choco. Nothing beats a good cup of it on a cold christmas-y night.What is your favorite holiday smell? Cinammon, Pine, you know those really christmas-y smells, I like them all!Who is your favorite reindeer? Who cares??What is your Christmas Eve ritual? We go to my aunt's place and open gifts, then they all go to midnight mass, while I stay at her house and watch the 3 kids. Fine with me, I got my own kid growing inside of me, I need my sleep too!Are you a Friday after Thanksgiving shopper? N/A...I shop all the time :) hahaWhat is your favorite holiday food? Whatever my mom makes on christmas night. It's gonna be my first home cooked meal that I didn't make myself since August...so let me tell you, I'm gonna enjoy it!!Who do you want to be under the mistletoe with? This one's obvious! JOHNNY DEPP!!!....ok ok, my bf ;) Steve, I didn't forget about you, haha.Have you bought all your presents yet? Yeah right. I'm a last minute type of person for everything I do, think it's any different for christmas shopping??Do you spend Christmas with a lot of family? Christmas eve with my mom's side, christmas day with my dad's side.Do you still make snowmen and snow angels? If there's snow, and if I fit into my ski pants when I get home! hahahaDo you still have snow ball fights? Hahaha, of course!What's your favorite Christmas movie? The santa clause and Miracle on 34th Street. oh and the Home Alone movies.What do you plan to do for New Year's Eve? Won't be drinking, that's for sure!What's the most expensive thing you've gotten for Christmas?Paid trips to Florida. Got those twice I think.How early do you wake up on Christmas morning? When I was young, it was like 6 in the morning. Now that I'm older...usually around noon. Gifts just aren't exciting enough to get me out of bed. The last two years, my mom's had to come pull me out of bed....one time my niece did it, she wasn't too impressed with me, haha. I guess I forget how Christmas can be exciting to a 4 year old.What do you usually get in your stocking? Normal stuff: underwear, chocolate, toiletries, books, movies, lil knicknacks of different kinds. But hopefully this year I get lots and lots of baby stuff!!!!

Mood Swings

I guess mood swings are normal during pregnancy, but man, they suck. I've been having them a lot recently, but I think it's from the complete tapering off of Prozac and the cold turkey quitting smoking. I have days when I'm deliriously happy for no reason, then times when I just sit down and cry. I can't help it!I'm frustrated in more ways than one, and sometimes I feel so lonely even though that's stupid, because I have lots of friends and family in my life who are there for me. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm happy with this pregnancy and that I've managed to make those healthy choices and sacrafices. Just some days, I feel so empty. Not lost or anything, just empty.Anyways, maybe a good night's sleep is all I need. Hopefully I feel better in the morning, cuz right now, I feel like crap.

A quick update

Well, I don't really have much to say, except that I went for my first ultrasound. It was absolutely beautiful...my baby already has two arms, two hands, two legs and two feet!!! I could see the spinal cord already starting to form. Life is really such a beautiful thing...a miracle really. And I have my own little miracle growing inside of me. University, partying, everything else seems so vile compared to this baby being formed. For once I can call myself truly happy, and I wouldn't have my life any other way. I mean, of course I want to return to school next year, to get my diploma and be able to provide a life for my baby. But for now, the time off to take care of myself and do other stuff besides go to school really feels good.I guess with Christmas coming, it's a good time to start giving my thanks for the blessings in my life. I feel sorry I didn't do such a thing at Thanksgiving, but that was the day I found out about my pregnancy, and I simply had too many emotions going through me. This isn't the entry to begin giving my thanks, so I'll update another day. Right now, my purple bunny is waiting for me to cuddle up to him, haha, so I'm calling it a night:). Leave a comment! I always like feedback!

usual crap...

So here it is 7am and I can't sleep anymore. I have to work at 11am, but I could still use a couple more hours of sleep. Meh. Man, pregnancy has been rough on me. I've been really sick, like A LOT. But it's finally starting to tame down. My birthday wasn't too bad, I wasn't feeling the best, but oh well. I'm 20 now, and won't be a teenage mother! haha. I quit college. I know that seems like a drastic decision, and I'll admit I thought long and hard about it. But it's just in my best interest and that of the baby's to return next year instead. I was just too sick to keep up with the material, and I was overtired because of school all day, and work during some evenings and weekends, plus morning sickness scattered throughout that. So now I'm simply working part-time, and it feels great not to be in school for the first time in sooooo long! I can finally concentrate more on me, and my pregnancy and making sure everything is alright and that I'm eating well and stuff. It's been great.So I've been thinking about names, and I have a definitive boy name picked out, but no ideas on girl names yet, so please, comment me your suggestions! If it's a boy, it's going to be Samuel William Jamieson. It has a really nice ring to it, and Samuel means "God Hears". Now, as most of you know, I'm not overly religious, but when I had to tell my parents about the baby, let me tell you, I prayed. But it all went well, and my parents are very supportive, so I know the big guy up there heard me. Gah, I hate being tired and not being able to sleep. Worst. Feeling. Ever.No I take that one back. The worst feeling for me has been when my roommate is cooking something, or I'm walking somewheres and I catch a whiff of a smell that makes me sick, and there's nothing I can do to not smell it, except breathe through my mouth, but then it's like I can taste it. Ah well. The morning sickness is finally going away.Man, besides my pregnancy, there really hasn't been much going on. Oh, I did have a bf, for about a week. I agreed to start dating him, but then realized I just didn't have those kinds of feelings for him. So I broke up with him.Oh!!! And I'm also going to see Simple Plan Dec. 15th!!! So exciting, seeing how they are like my all-time favorite band. Well one of them anyways.Hmmmm, well I just sat here for a few minutes thinking if I have anything else to say and nothing came up, so I suppose this is where I wrap it up. I don't think I write in here nearly enough, but if there's nothing interesting to talk about, why bother? Hey is it normal to have sex dreams when you're pregnant?? :D

Well...

Well, it's my birthday in exactly two weeks. It's so hard for me to believe that I'm turning only 20. It seems (even though it didn't always seem that way) that I grew up sooo much this past year. At 19, I started the year out completely lost, without any knowledge of who I really was.I sank further and further down into despair until I finally snapped. My suicidal attempt was obviously not successful, but it sure opened my eyes. I realized after that I was worth being alive, and my life was worth living. I knew halfway through the year at Dal that my time there was done. It was time to leave Halifax, because deep inside myself, I knew I could never find myself there. So I left for good at the end of May.I spend the summer on the farm back in Grand Falls. I spent a wonderful summer, although always full of ups and downs, with my parents. Back in Spring, I knew I would want to pursue a career in Pharmacy Technician. I found out Oulton College in Moncton offered the program and I applied and got accepted.I spent my summer relaxing and working for my father. I wanted this year to go as smoothly as possible, and I was determined to do well. Towards the end of August, I went to Halifax to get all my stuff, and moved to Moncton. And here I am. My year started off great, I'm doing great in school, I live in a kick-ass place, and my roommate and I get along great.Everything is still great, even though I ended up pregnant. It'll be about two months on my birthday. But as some people would be discouraged by it, I'm actually happy. I have a reason to take good care of myself, to love myself, heck a reason to live. I've probably mentioned this before, but this is my "looking-back-on-the-past-year" entry.I feel like such a different person then the one I was a year ago. I feel like I've matured, who knows if I have, but I just feel like that. Well, I guess this is it for now. I'm sick today with morning sickness, and I need to get some rest so I'll be ok for tomorrow. Until the next update, take care y'all

Awwww....

I was just re-reading Kelly's journal...I realized I miss some of my friends from Halifax so much! (sad face)Let me recap.January 2004 was TEH best month ever. I met Kel and we became instant great friends as she shoved my belongings into garbage bags (I was moving out of Shirreff, haha) We spent the rest of the month, and ever since then, partying together and just having an awesome time.I miss Chris, Cory, Ash, and all those Howe Hall people I met during my time in Halifax. I know I did a lot of stupid crap, but they were there for me, and helped me through a lot, and we also partied together and made awesome memories.I miss Tiny, one of my still closest friends to this day. He's coming next weekend to visit though:)I miss my other non-Dal friends as well. I miss Rob, Tristan, and Sean. Just everyone that was a good friend of mine. A lot of people I hardly talk to anymore, it's like we don't have time to keep in touch, and this saddens me. And now with the baby coming, I'm scared I won't have time for my friends anymore, even though this is the time I most need them. I guess this is my sad entry, they don't happen too often, only when I'm feeling nostalgic...

Woops

So I kinda forgot about my journal here...here's a much needed update!Well, I left Halifax and my life there. Quit Dal, moved out of that crappy ass apartment, and here I am living in Moncton. I moved in with one of my best friends from high school, we get along awesomely. Our apartment is really sweet too. I really thought it would be hard to have a roommate, especially a guy, but we have plenty of room for the both of us. I'm trying to teach him not to leave the toilet seat up, but it's not working...Now I go to school here. I attend Oulton College where I am taking Pharmacy Technician. I love love LOVE it. I'm doing so much better here than I ever did at Dal. It's awesome. Other news that I'm sure will be heard of soon, so I may as well announce it here. I am a month and a half pregnant!!! I dunno how I'm gonna continue with school as I get further along, but for now I'm taking it a day at a time. The morning sickness isn't bad, but I just need so much freakin' sleep! But I'm doing well, I no longer drink, I'm majorly cut back on smoking (about to quit too!!) I watch what I eat and get lots of rest. So that's about it.Well, now I'm hungry, which is also a regular feeling for me now, lol. Guess I better go eat...Until next time!